Confessions Of A Muhajababe
From the sand storms of DubaiI’ve Moved!
I know this is late, but I’ve moved to a new site.
Please come join the discussion on
www.muhajababeconfessions.com
See you there!!
An Optimist’s Guide to Traffic Jams
Starry Night
Sitting in the passenger seat of our car, I was watching the buildings on Sheikh Zayed road inch by just as the sun’s final rays were illuminating a vanilla sky. John Mayer was serenading us with his awe-inspiring voice, and the album’s acoustics provided a rich, velvety sensation to the ears.
There was a feeling of serenity; a feeling of calm.
Right. Did I mention we were stuck in really bad traffic and we were going to be embarrassingly late for a dinner party? You see, my husband is directionally challenged and took the wrong exit – as usual.
The result? Our vehicle was trudging along in whale-like fashion amidst a sea of cars all going towards the Greens. Forget about serene, the atmosphere should have been akin to a full-on verbal throttle between my hubby and I. In fact, if I were to capture this scene on canvas, there would be an overwhelming number of very bold, and very red strokes to illustrate what felt like an epic journey to The Dinner Party.
Thankfully, though, we’ve learned to switch gears whenever we’re stuck in such a predicament. We are now proficient in surviving not just traffic jams, but any time spent on the road, too! Call it a cure for car-sickness, if you may (not the pukey kind, of course). Its summed up by a very simple philosophy that dawned on me one day:
“Car in motion = thought in motion”.
Imagine you’re sitting in your car (the choice of seat is up to you; I prefer imagining myself on the front passenger side). The moment you turn the ignition on, there is a spark, and the engine automatically starts converting gas into usable, kinetic energy – energy that enables your car to move.
Now translate this analogy to the human mind; the abstract world of thoughts where anything is possible. The only difference here is that you utilize this ‘spark’ to ignite a random motion of thoughts (metaphorically speaking, of course; we wouldn’t want any accidents, now would we?).
Your thoughts (read: abstract entity) are now moving in tandem with your car (read: physical entity); and the more time you spend on the road, the more places your mind can visit!
But why is this important?
Well, aside from maintaining your sanity, I found this was an effective way of utilizing ‘travel’ time to do something I’ve recently had to ‘schedule’ in: thinking, reflecting and connecting!
Consider this:
The cumulative time we spend in our cars (or any transport vehicle, for that matter) amounts to a sizable portion of our day. Most of us sleep for a minimum of 7-8 a day and spend another 8 hours at work or managing the house; that leaves an individual with approximately 8 hours to run errands, engage with family and friends, etc. Of these 8 ‘personal time’ hours, an average of 1 to 2 hours can be set aside for the total time spent in the car (I do not purport these numbers to be calculated & statistical figures; its from observing others and myself!); that is, around 30 -60 hours a month and almost 360 -720 hours a year can be allocated as ‘daily travel’ time.
And that’s more than 14 days a year!!
Pause. Breath. This approximation is staggering enough to leave one breathless (or winded, in my case).
As for traffic jams? They’re gold mines, I tell you. For the period your car is stalled, you can linger on and ponder over a single thought; or if sitting with someone, you can engage in a discussion/debate you otherwise wouldn’t have time for (the disadvantage of living in a capitalist society, where time equals money? That, in itself, is another discussion I’ve been dying to have)
So how did we survive that 1 1/2 hours we spent on the highway that night?
Darkness had now completely enveloped any remaining light, and we had barely moved ten meters. No problem. My mind was wandering aimlessly as if it had disconnected from its physical being.
It was on a destination-less journey.
First stop: Twitterville; had I missed any interesting tweets? What were people saying about the new George Clooney movie? Second stop: recounting an interesting article concerning the new tobacco law that had come into effect.
Interestingly enough, the more time we spent in the car, the more places my mind was able to visit.
Next stop, recounting memories of Barcelona: stuffing our faces everyday with delicious seafood paella, and trembling from the cold wind whipping our faces, as we treaded through snow-laden streets of the Gothic Quarter.
This is my new mantra and I am very proud of it. Suddenly, all those annoying drives to Reel Cinemas in Dubai Mall (I’ve officially deserted Grand), the gazillion traffic lights on Beach Road (the trouble you go through for a cupcake : S), and the God-awful traffic jams on SZR, are now valuable periods of time.
Thinking time. Reflecting time. Connecting time.
Try it yourself : )
Burj Dubai – A Symbol Of…
Photo by Danish Farhan
My husband and I were watching a news bite on BBC about the soon-to-be-inaugurated Burj Dubai, when he made a really interesting point. To paraphrase, he believes this iconic structure will not only be symbolic of Dubai’s determination to be the best, but will also come to represent “Dubai’s resilience through its present and future difficulties.”
Interesting.
It seems we are predisposed to give meaning to everything around us – both animate and inanimate, and from what I’ve observed, it is purely rooted in our tendency (or obsession) to develop innumerable connections with that which is in our environment. Whether this is a biological or cultural tendency, I do not know, but it is reality and we see it everyday. It is real because these connections we seek to develop give us reassurance that our lives do, in fact, have meaning, and are not being lived in vain. Personal objects such as a charm bracelet from a dear friend, or a test paper from math class, take on a new identity because they may be perceived as physical manifestations of our feelings, efforts and hopes.
There is meaning, and indeed, there is also symbolism.
When observed in a larger context, an object that is honoured and celebrated by a people with such fervour and joy takes on a special national identity because it is now emblematic of a nation’s spirit. But I think the identity of the Burj Khalifa (previously known as Burj Dubai) goes beyond national identity, and this is due to its nature of being the ‘tallest in the world’.
Today marks a historic day not just for the residents of the UAE, but for everyone. We can appreciate the engineering and architectural marvel that is the Burj Dubai, but more importantly, we may come to acknowledge and appreciate an abstract, metaphorical facet that can be associated with the identity of this inanimate wonder: a facet which is symbolic of hope.
For even amidst the political and financial turmoil we are facing globally, this tower is a standing reminder that goes beyond borders; it is a reminder that we can continue to be inspired, so as to visualize great things and bring them to life.
Real Time
Thursday, October 15, 2009 – Kempinski Hotel
As I was sipping on hot lentil soup and relishing its lemony flavour, I had the sudden urge to express. I didn’t have my laptop, though. Dammit.
This ‘portable medium of communication’ has become my lifeline, and unfortunately, my dependance has only proven to be restricting. While sitting in that tiny, warmly-lit sandwich shop, I realized that the thoughts I needed to express through writing, would be left to rust. To wither. To die.
Like a flower which is so dependant on the benevolence of mother nature, my thoughts had become a slave to technology.
Not anymore.
This journal will be a place where my ramblings will come to life on paper. A place where ideas can flow freely as I think them; feel them; experience them – real time.
Note: this section will contain excerpts from Muhajababe’s own personal journal. Think of it as a ‘digitized’ version.
I Can Feel the Smoke Coming Out of My Ears…
How do you deal with an irrational, socially inept moron?
a) Be the mature one. Ignore and/or pretend like he/she doesn’t exist.
b) Stoop to his/her level and yell back in the most childish way you can think of.
c) Kick them.
d) Create a Venn Diagram outlining similarities between he/she and a pathetic loser.
e) Throw a pie in their face.
f) B to E
In a world where things would go un-punishable, I would definitely go for option f). (Evil grin).
Unfortunately, I’m too cowardly (or sensible?) to stir up trouble, so I’ll restrict my anger to thoughts and fantasies : D
What would you do?
PS. If I’ve scared off anyone with my psychotic rant, apologies. There are only so many ‘constructive’ ways one can express their anger : )
Friendship: The Mother of All ‘-ships’
I’ve developed a very peculiar need over the years.
My life, so far, has been sporadically punctuated with ironies that have left me dumb-struck and confused on many occasions. Fortunately, I now understand that it is through discovering these ironies, that I can satisfy this growing need to understand people. With every subsequent discovery, a new door opens up and I plunge myself into a vast ocean, exploring the complexities associated with our thought and behaviour.
Now, if these complexities were to be observed and pondered-over in isolation to context, my explorations would merely seem futile. When explored within the framework of social norms, however, there is an opportunity to reconsider societal norms which may be restricting our personal growth and development – both as individuals and as members of a community.
I envisaged another door opening up for me as I read through a thought-provoking blog-post by Naima Sheikh (read here). Speaking from personal experience, she tells of our overall well-being as people and its link to our openness in finding friendship in ‘many’ and not just ‘one’. She feels that consciously developing close friendships with different individuals who connect with different facets of your own personality, may in fact, be healthy for you. I immediately knew I had to explore this complex, and essential aspect of our lives. It was time to bring out my eraser and pencil, and possibly rewrite my current understanding of friendship. Why? Well, because I could relate to it.
Since I can recall, I was under the impression that maintaining even a single and genuine friendship would suffice our need as human beings, to be social. When I think back to my own experiences during school and university, however, I realized I had a myriad of ‘close’ friends – each one interesting and inspiring in their own unique way.
Here was the disconnect.
My thoughts and ‘impressions’ did not translate into the reality I knew, and the experiences I lived. As a result, I was in a place where many before me had been; a place abound in confusion and contradiction; a place that forces you to think and question. That is, if you allow yourself the opportunity to. And that’s precisely what I did.
I started formulating questions that looked at the basis of creating friendships, and the norms associated with the manner in which this is generally practiced. Such questions included the following:
Why do we generally limit ourselves to ‘one’ best friend – this one individual with whom we exchange special tokens of friendship? Why do we restrict our movement within the realms of the social sphere to one particular group of people?
I realized there were two places I needed to look if I wanted viable answers to my questions: human nature and society.
As human beings, we have a natural thirst to seek out and experience the unknown; however, we also have an overriding, inherent tendency to become complacent and stay within our comfort zone. Many of us get comfortable with our current best friend or group of friends and fail to seek out new ones. Not that there’s anything ‘wrong’ with being life-long friends with your kindergarten buddy, or your neighbour. In fact, I have deep admiration for friendships that can withstand the test of time and space. Unfortunately, this deters most from venturing out of their social bubble.
In addition to our complacent nature, I found that certain facets of society wielded a significant influence over our perceptions of relationships, friendship in particular. These facets (read: self-help books, films and literature) ’guide’ our notion of friendship, and as a result, we mold ourselves to fit this cookie-cutter perception. We look to them – consciously or subconsciously – for guidance on the best manner in which to pursue friendships. Sadly, much of which is propagated has been the same, old stuff.
For example, certain self-help gurus warn us of the trap we may get into if we maintain too many friendships, as this would compromise the quality of time spent and hence, the emotional attachment.
Similarly, books and films rarely speak of a person maintaining many friendships with people from all walks of life. You either hang out with your work friends, your school/university friends, or your spouse/partner’s friends. Is that a reflection of reality? Most probably. But films and books are never just about representing our day-to-day lives; they are also meant to showcase that which is new, unconventional and unheard of. A fresh new take on things.
After analyzing the subject through this ‘new’ lens, I found that having just ‘one’ best friend could stop you from growing and developing as a person. As you are always surrounded by this one individual who may only appeal to one or few facets of your own personality , you eventually stunt the development of your other ‘dimensions’. Unfortunately, this can lead to an ‘extinction’, for the lack of a better word, of a single or many parts of you altogether. The musician, poet, cook, painter, or avid reader in you may remain untouched, unexplored, unpolished.
So go ahead, leave your comfort zone and make friends with people from all walks of life. You’ll be surprised about all that you can learn, and the many perspectives you may be exposed to. More importantly, you may end up pursuing a passion(s) you never knew existed or merely took for granted.
It worked before (albeit unknowingly) and still works for me today.
Take that one step towards building a new friendship : )
Posh Spice a Fashionista? Hell No. Overrated? Hell YA!
Courtesy fashionism.ca
NEW YORK.
Blah shoes? check
Blah makeup? check
Blah hairdo? check
Pretentious pose? check
The moment I saw this pic of Victoria Beckham, I knew she had to be on my Fashion Hit List – but for all the wrong reasons. You wonder why; it’s Victoria Beckham, right? Well, that is precisely the reason. This is a super example of how something so mediocre on an overrated celebrity would be (and actually is) touted as über stylish. Replace VB with a celebrity of lesser ‘stature’ and you would have style ‘gurus’ lashing [out] and trashing her for not having taken ‘risks’.
Individually, her shoes, hair and makeup aren’t bad; its when you combine them together with that LBD that you realize how boring the overall look is. Surprisingly, I don’t particularly have anything against the dress – its just blah.
I’ve always maintained that Posh Spice was undeserving of all the hooplah surrounding her ‘fashion’ sense (read: pseudo-fashion sense); and let’s not forget the ‘oh-so-generous’ titles of ‘Fashion Queen’ and ‘Fashionista’.
So can we call her overrated then? Heck yes, people!
Verdict: Nay!
Note: Apologies to any VB fans out there; I mean, it’s not like I called her a fashion ‘disaster’ (which could’ve easily been the case).
The ‘Passive Pupil’ (part 1): Prologue
Once upon a time, there was a rambunctious little boy who was told that he would start schooling very soon.
‘School?’ he asked with a tone of uncertainty.
‘Of course!’ Mother replied. She told him about the new friends he would make, all the exciting and wonderful things he would be able to do, and how exciting and wonderful his classroom teacher would be.
As she continued talking, a warm and fuzzy feeling began filling the little boy’s insides; to him, school sounded like another adventure, the kind of adventures he often took with Dad.
They had gone to many places – the both of them. They had cut their way through the dense foliage of the jungle, trekked across the sandy dunes of the desert, and even swam alongside the sharks in the ocean. Fortunately for the little boy, he didn’t have to go farther than his own backyard! Dad used to tell him to close his eyes and imagine what the jungle, the desert and the ocean would look like in his mind; for the little boy, barely a minute would pass before he was transported to another world – a wonder world.
***
The bell rings and a 4 year-old child gradually makes his way into a classroom for the very first time. There is hesitation in his step – a discernible awkwardness indicated by stiff shoulders and restless fingers; and yet, his eyes betray an accompanying flurry of excitement over the prospects of finally going to school. As he takes a seat at the carpet, arms swinging restlessly at his side, there is only one thought which comes to mind: ’a new adventure’…
***
Just as young boys and girls world-over begin long-haul occupations as students, the now-nervous but still rambunctious little boy also forays into this new world, yet unaware of his special talent; unaware that his capacious mind is a cave of untapped potential waiting to be cultivated.
So what happens to these students upon entering the school system? Are their anticipations and curiosities left at the classroom door? What indeed becomes of these fresh minds if left to rust?
(To be continued. Did you miss the beginning? Read it here!)
Ooh la la!
NEW YORK. Looking fantastic in this Missoni ensemble, Freida Pinto really made a statement at a cocktail event she hosted alongside Gerard Butler for Harry Winston’s Jewelers.
I just love everything about this look. The combination of the loose-fitting top and the straight-silhouette skirt totally speaks ‘glam-chic’; add to that a gorgeous muted palette consisting of peaches and soft browns (which work really well on her skin tone), and ta-da! You have an eye-catching outfit.
Of course, the icing on the cake are the oh-so yummy Harry Winston diamond drop-earrings and the gorgeous silver Christian Laboutins.
I know this is the second one but hey, its definitely deserving…
Verdict: YAY!
The ‘Passive Pupil’: Foreward
The ‘Passive Pupil’ will be an ongoing commentary and discussion pertaining to a widespread condition that is affecting our schools; it is a condition whereby our students are becoming the passive recipients (read: hapless drones) of ideals and behaviours that are intrinsically ‘limiting’ in nature. Its what I like to call the ‘passive pupil syndrome’.
This section is dedicated to all those teachers who are trying to create a classroom-experience where students are free to visualize great possibilities and develop their faculties of thought and intuition; those teachers who sadly but most definitely are restricted by the elephantine task of completing the ‘curriculum’.
The spirit and essence of this section is beautifully summed up by a quote I discovered recently:
Give yourself the freedom to explore the possibility of life without limits. Goals are dreams with deadlines, a means to an end but not the ultimate purpose of life.’
— Glynis Nunn
A wonderful thought, isn’t it?
To be continued…
